Heavenly Memories Help to Overcome Grief.
Today is a good day to think about memories. Two years ago today I found Caron lifeless on the bathroom floor. Thirty-five years together had ended. She left me. It wasn’t her choosing. It was God’s hand that suddenly pulled her away. Just an hour before, when I came to the door, she had brought me a cup of water. “Just another hour and I will be finished and come in,” were my last words to her. She left me with heavenly memories.
The following months were cruel, that’s the only way I can describe grief. It is torturous to the soul that finds it’s only escape through insanity. Mine was compulsive cleaning and searching for purpose. That was my distraction from the cruelty of grief. Triggered by a thought or word, the reality of loss would suddenly scream in pain. I hated grief and prayed that God would give me the strength to resist it. I wanted to live free of pain and not feel guilty that I chose to move on by having a life again. It took awhile, but I came to believe that Caron would understand.
The Future of Heavenly Memories.
In thirty-five years of marriage there are lots of things regretted that someday will not be remembered. There is a day coming when there will be no misunderstandings. But, in the mean time regrets and misunderstandings are common to us all. When there is forgiveness unity is restored, but memory still remains. Regret teaches the sorrowful, and misunderstandings produce wisdom in the humble. That is the purpose of those memories God’s children would rather that they didn’t have. But, there is hope for the future.
“And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, ‘Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:3-4)
When We Meet Again.
There will only be heavenly memories, like those times we sat quietly by the pond.